


Merry Is The Man

by A_M_Kelley



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Awkwardness, Banter, F/M, First Meetings, Mark is kinda a jerk, Pre-Canon, Sexual Harassment, Song Inspired, Unresolved Romantic Tension, as per usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-20
Updated: 2012-09-20
Packaged: 2017-11-14 15:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_M_Kelley/pseuds/A_M_Kelley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erickson introduces a new (but not entirely naive) edition to the team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Is The Man

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Radium Eyes by Count Zero. I've always wanted to write Perez/Strahm and this just came to me when I was listening to my music on shuffle.

"Is there anything you can actually do right?" Hoffman berated as he tried to fix the copy machine that Gibson had successfully jammed when trying to do a simple task. "Can't even copy one piece of paper without screwing things up. Probably can't even go to the bathroom without someone there to hold your dick for you."

"Hey, leave the rookie alone," Strahm chided as he walked in through the threshold of the office. "He's just a boy."

"I'm not that young," Gibson mumbled to himself.

"Come on, Matt. You know I'm joking right?" Hoffman asked apathetically, clasping a big hand around the back of Gibson's neck and shaking it a little.

"Not very amusing."

"I said I was joking. Never said I was funny," Hoffman grinned.

Strahm rolled his eyes and went on with what he was going to do when he originally came in here, but he couldn't remember all of a sudden. He muttered a curse under his breath and looked around the room and gazed at the file in his hand as a reference, but nothing rang any bells. What did he come in here for?

"Seriously, how do you get dressed in the morning?" Hoffman smirked.

"Your sister helps me with that," Gibson quipped slyly, earning him a narrowed sneer from the large man.

"Funny," Hoffman said sarcastically.

Hoffman banged his fist on the copy machine a few times and finally gave up when he couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. Gibson shrunk away when Hoffman cast an irritated gaze toward the younger man and said he was going to get them coffee. Despite Hoffman sort of being his friend, Gibson was still scared of the large man.

Strahm dropped the file onto his desk and took a seat to think for a moment, biting on his thumb nail so he could concentrate. It was a terrible habit he had since he was a kid, but he couldn't seem to shake it no matter how hard he tried. He looked over at Hoffman to see him going at the copy machine again and remembered why he came in here.

He needed to make copies... Duh. But now he couldn't. Strahm thought it was absurd that a department this big could only afford one copy machine, but then again there were more important things. But right now the copy machine was important, because Strahm couldn't do his job and if he couldn't do his job there was no point in being here.

It was nearly the end of his shift and now he had nothing to do for a full hour besides watch Hoffman try to fix the goddamn copy machine Gibson had jammed. It's days like these that really get to Strahm. If he's not busy then he feels incompetent like he's letting criminals get away with grand theft auto and murder.

Gibson walked back in with coffee for all three of them as if to apologize for jamming the copy machine and sat down across from Strahm. Hoffman hit the machine again and Gibson blushed, taking a sip of liquid lava to keep his mouth shut.

Hoffman was about to make another snide remark at Gibson's suspense when Erickson came through the doorway and cleared his throat to make himself known. Erickson side stepped out of the way to let a woman walk in beside him. All the men stopped what they were doing and stared at her as if they haven't seen a woman before.

It's not like they didn't have a woman on the team, there were a few females actually and Kerry was one of them. So why should this girl be any different from Kerry or the countless others? She even kind of looked like Kerry but only because of her frizzy hair. She was more tan too.

"Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a new member to the team," Erickson announced. "This is Lindsey Perez."

"Hello," said Perez meekly.

"This is Mark Hoffman, Matt Gibson, and Peter Strahm," Erickson informed Perez as he motioned towards each of them one by one. "You'll meet the rest of the team tomorrow, but in the mean time I'll leave you to set up your desk and get to know the guys, alright?"

Perez nodded with a smile.

"Strahm will show you around if you want. And Hoffman, be nice," Erickson warned before nodding to them and saying, "Gentlemen."

Erickson left Perez to be alone with the three men who just stared at her with big eyes as if she had a big neon arrow over her head. She stood there for a moment before shuffling over to the only empty desk in the room. Perez could feel their eyes on her the whole time and when she sat down she looked over at Hoffman and then to Strahm.

"Would you like some coffee?" Gibson asked politely to break the uncomfortable silence that had consumed the room ever since Perez walked in.

"I'm fine, thank you," she smiled.

"You certainly are," Hoffman said, not exactly trying to mask his interest in the young lady.

Perez scoffed and disregarded the sexual remark. She knew it wasn't good to ignore the obvious sexual harassment but she'd let it slide this one time. Perez didn't feel like reporting a member of her new team on the first day of the job. That was no way to start. She'd keep an eye on Hoffman.

"Mark, behave yourself," Gibson warned. "She can report you."

"Who's to say she's not flattered?" Hoffman asked glancing at Gibson.

"And who said she was?" Strahm interjected, making himself a part of the conversation.

Perez looked over at Strahm and blushed softly at the fact that Strahm had stood up for her and smiled to herself. She couldn't be more grateful right now. Strahm stood up and walked over to Hoffman, whispering something to him only he could hear, then turned towards Perez and motioned for her.

"Come on," he said. "I'll give you that tour."

She left the room with Strahm, giving Hoffman the the stink eye before she disappeared into the hallway that was oddly quiet. It must've not been that busy today. Perez followed close behind Strahm as he stalked down the corridor to the main entrance so they could start from ground one and work their way up the latter.

Strahm took her down an alternate corridor and ever so often when they'd come across a room, they'd stop and Strahm would tell her the purpose of said room. The place was big but Perez had a good memory for layouts and she caught on rather quick. You needed to be quick with a job like this.

Perez felt herself looking at Strahm more often than she'd like to admit, but she couldn't help it. Strahm was broad shouldered and well-dressed and his hair was kept well. He was rather handsome. She couldn't help but blush whenever Strahm caught her staring for too long but he didn't seem to mind because he'd never say anything, only smile.

"Are you in a hurry?" Perez asked when she saw Strahm glance at his watch a few times.

"Hmm? Sort of. I'm getting off soon," Strahm reassured. "I'm needed at my house."

"Wife?"

"German Shepherd," Strahm smiled, embarrassed.

"Boy or girl?"

"Girl. Her name's Lucy. I forgot to feed her this morning."

They stopped in front of a room and Strahm opened up the door to let Perez walk in and closed it behind them. It was the evidence room and it was bigger than most of the other rooms in the precinct. She got a good look around, pivoting her body as if she were dancing across the room. Strahm watched her face light up wonder.

Strahm trailed behind Perez as she walked around, reading each label on all the shelves to see how it was organized. She was a little taller than most women but still short and her wild hair was kept back in a pony tail. Strahm knew he shouldn't be checking out his future partner but she had been staring first, so it only seemed fair.

He saw her pause at one shelf and squat down to get a better look at something, which in turn made her shirt and jacket rise up her back a little. The small of Perez's back was exposed but it wasn't on purpose and even though it was an accident Strahm still couldn't look away. He felt like a creep.

She stood back up and when she did her hand grasped the first thing she could find on reflex and made a few boxes topple off of the shelf, causing her to stumble back into Strahm's strong arms. The boxes crashed to the ground and she stood there dumbfoundedly for a moment just looking at them, forgetting where she was momentarily.

"You okay?" Strahm asked in a low whisper.

His mouth was so close to Perez's ear that his hot breath made a few stray hairs tickle her head and it sent a shiver down her arms. Her back was pressed firmly to his chest and his arms were wrapped around her waist. They lingered there longer then they should've and Perez straightened herself up before turning to face Strahm.

"I'm alright," she said. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," Strahm said, bending down to collect the boxes that had fallen.

"Here, let me help you," Perez offered, squatting down to lend Strahm a hand.

They bumped heads and Perez recoiled with a small hiss, covering her forehead with her hand and rubbing at it to try and soothe the pain. Strahm reached out and steadied her face in his big hands, looking her over to make sure she was alright. He gushed out sorry after sorry despite her insistent reassurances.

There was a moment when she opened up her eyes and stared directly at Strahm. Strahm's eyes didn't waver and despite Perez's possible hispanic heritage, her eyes were a brilliant blue-grey that deceived her skin tone. Strahm's breath caught in his throat and he had to tear his hands away from Perez's face.

"Are you married?" Perez asked out of the blue.

"No, why?"

"No reason," she shrugged, looking away from Strahm. "I'd just feel bad if I were to do something I shouldn't."

"Well you don't have to worry about that, unless you're afraid of making Lucy jealous," Strahm grinned. "I'm sure she can handle a little competition."

Perez smiled and they went back to picking up the boxes and putting them on the correct shelves. She was lucky the whole shelf hadn't come down on her head. Strahm straightened out his jacket and smiled at Perez, blushing like he was a high schooler again. He was embarrassed and he didn't know why but so was Perez.

Here they were in the evidence room all alone with no one walking by and this awkward tension between, of course they'd be embarrassed. They'd only just met and Strahm felt as if Perez had just asked him if he was single just to make sure that it was okay to get close... or something else.

"Listen, um, I know it's your first day and all and stop me at anytime if I'm out of line, but..." Strahm took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "If you ever need a tour guide around town or anything..."

"I'll be sure to take you up on that offer," Perez beamed.

"Really?" Strahm asked skeptically as if he couldn't believe his ears.

"Yeah. I'm sure Gibson is harmless enough but he seems a little naive and Hoffman... I don't know what say," Perez chuckled.

"I don't blame you. The man has issues," Strahm agreed. "Come on, I'll show you the holding cells with some of the regulars bunking down."

Perez smiled and followed Strahm out the door, closing it behind her before they continued down the hall. Strahm glanced over his shoulder and Perez blushed like a little girl.

Perez had a feeling that Strahm was a romantic.


End file.
